1
00:00:06,214 --> 00:00:08,383
[electric guitar playing]
2
00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:11,970
[rock music playing]
3
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:16,057
-[announcer] Los Angeles, how we feeling?
-[crowd cheering]
4
00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:19,686
Please give it up for the man of the hour,
5
00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:23,440
it's your host, Jack Tucker.
6
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How we doin', Netflix?
7
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Hello, hello!
8
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Hello!
9
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My god. Good to see ya!
10
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,118
Are we doing alright?
11
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,703
[crowd cheering]
12
00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:41,416
[music stops]
13
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:43,793
Los Angeles, how… [yells]
14
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,795
[music resumes]
15
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[Jack] Put me down!
16
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[yells]
17
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,383
Put me down!
18
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[yells] Put me down!
19
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Hello, LA! Are you ready
for the greatest show of your lives?
20
00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:04,481
[cheering]
21
00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:08,985
Oh, I can't hear you. Are you ready?
22
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,029
[crowd cheering]
23
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-[cannon blasts]
-[music stops]
24
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[crowd laughing]
25
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,377
I'm okay!
26
00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:28,379
-[music resumes]
-Yeah!
27
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,927
We got ya! Los Angeles,
how we doing on a Saturday night?
28
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:36,012
-[crowd cheering]
-[klaxon honking]
29
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:39,432
For those who don't know,
my name is Jack Tucker.
30
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I am not from here. I am from New York.
31
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Yeah. The Big Apple.
32
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-[music resumes]
-Yes!
33
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My god, this is crazy.
34
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[guitar playing]
35
00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:52,487
Not yet, not yet.
36
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:54,364
[crowd laughing]
37
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:57,117
This is the biggest crowd
I've performed to in my life.
38
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,619
I mean, what is this,
9,000 people in here?
39
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[cheering]
40
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,501
Can… Can they hear me? I, uh…
41
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[louder] I'm so happy to be here.
42
00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:09,838
This is my first time here.
43
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I'm so happy to be back.
44
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I, uh… [chuckles]
45
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-[clicks once]
-Good little crowd. I, uh…
46
00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,262
-Good little crowd.
-[clicks twice]
47
00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:19,264
If you laugh at the right time,
you get a treat.
48
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[male voice] Yeah!
49
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:22,267
Got you, idiots. Suck my balls, liberals.
50
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:23,476
No, but I…
51
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:24,769
Man, you guys are wild.
52
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:28,398
The acoustics in here are amazing.
I can't hear anyone laughing, but…
53
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:32,026
But this is a huge show for us.
Our biggest show yet.
54
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We got A-list celebrities.
55
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[crowd whooping]
56
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:38,158
A list of celebrities
who said no to being in the show.
57
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[male voice] Yeah!
58
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[yells]
59
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:41,953
-[klaxon honking]
-No, but I…
60
00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:44,873
That's okay. The stars are out tonight.
We got the Big Dipper.
61
00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:47,625
Me with the guac, me with the guac. Uh…
62
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We got the Little Dipper.
Me with the spicy salsa.
63
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[male voice] Yeah!
64
00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:55,341
Imagine getting this opportunity
and using that for your first jokes.
65
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-[rock music plays briefly]
-Yes!
66
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,220
[laughs] But I do love racial humor.
67
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I, uh…
68
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[crowd laughing]
69
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,141
I love Ross humor.
70
00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:05,018
I love Chandler humor.
71
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Could I be anymore of a Samantha?
72
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[fanfare playing]
73
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This crowd sucks. Uh, but…
74
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-[crowd laughing]
-[clicks once]
75
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,862
We have a pretty cool camera team
on our side.
76
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:18,072
You might see cameras
flying in and out of the stage,
77
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catching some pretty cool angles
throughout the show.
78
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:22,827
[thudding]
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This is gonna be…
We'll cut that, but I… [laughs]
80
00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:28,333
Wah-wah-wah-wah.
81
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:31,085
It's a joke I haven't set up yet.
Okay, so…
82
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[crowd laughing]
83
00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:35,298
Hey, we got people recording this.
We got our own team.
84
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You don't need to film this.
Thank you so much.
85
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,386
-[klaxon honking]
-Is that the squid from Squid Game?
86
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:41,554
[ululating]
87
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:42,680
Sorry, sorry.
88
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:45,683
I knew you wouldn't like it,
but I had to try it, so…
89
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If you've never seen the show before,
we got acts from all over the world.
90
00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:53,858
All different types of performance.
Circus, variety, skills acts.
91
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:56,152
If you've never seen
circus and variety before,
92
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,780
every time they do something amazing,
I want you to go crazy.
93
00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:01,115
I want you to go nuts.
Scream and make some noise.
94
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:03,576
Imagine you've seen something
you've never seen before!
95
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,620
-[crowd whooping]
-Perfect!
96
00:04:05,703 --> 00:04:07,705
We got an amazing show for you!
97
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,249
Please, welcome to the stage
98
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,167
a quick-change routine
99
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,962
from Daredevil Chicken!
100
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:16,130
-[crowd cheering]
-[upbeat music playing]
101
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:19,884
-Yeah!
-[music ends]
102
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,511
Let's do it! Music!
103
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:23,221
[quirky music playing]
104
00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:28,643
[crowd laughing]
105
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,692
[crowd clapping to music]
106
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[cheering]
107
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,373
-[mouthing silently]
-[crowd laughing]
108
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,711
[cheering]
109
00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:00,758
[klaxon honking]
110
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,889
[crowd whooping]
111
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:09,892
[music stops abruptly]
112
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,103
[crowd laughing and whistling]
113
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:17,525
Play the fucking music!
114
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:19,444
[music resumes]
115
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,946
[crowd squealing]
116
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:25,325
[gunshots]
117
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,368
[male performer] Oh!
118
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:31,414
Oh my god! Oh my god! [squealing]
119
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,459
[squealing]
120
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:37,462
[music ends]
121
00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:39,505
[whooping]
122
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,716
[cheering and whistling]
123
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,844
We'll save it for the director's uncut.
124
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:48,639
I know what you're thinking.
To all the union freaks watching this,
125
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,142
yes, that penis was SAG-AFTRA.
126
00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:52,852
[crowd laughing]
127
00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:55,188
And my penis sags after I use it too much.
128
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,106
-[musical sting]
-[crowd cheering]
129
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,275
-[Jack] Oh boy. Uh…
-[woman] Sorry…
130
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,736
It's our venue manager, Erin!
How about this?
131
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:03,863
[crowd cheering]
132
00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:06,199
I'm sorry, I think just in everything, uh,
133
00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:09,327
you just skipped the content warning.
It was in our emails.
134
00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:12,288
Oh. Not really an email guy. [laughs]
135
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,123
I'm a Hillary dude.
136
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,918
-[fanfare playing]
-She was the First Lady.
137
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,586
-Ever.
-[male voice] Yeah!
138
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:21,339
Love hot sauce in my bag.
Uh, yeah, what's up?
139
00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:24,926
Um, well, if… if you're doing your thing,
just somebody has to read it.
140
00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:27,428
I can do it fast
and then we can get back to the show.
141
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:30,390
Okay, sure. A quick announcement
from our venue manager, Erin,
142
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,058
just to cover the legal.
143
00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:34,394
-[klaxon honking]
-[crowd cheering]
144
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:37,772
Hi. Hi, guys. Sorry about this.
Just a bit of, um… Oh.
145
00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:41,526
Sorry, just a bit of business
and then we'll get back to, um,
146
00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:42,902
what… what this is.
147
00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:44,112
[crowd laughing]
148
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,571
Um, okay… [squeals]
149
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,949
[giggles] So, um, okay.
150
00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:49,242
So, okay, guys. Okay.
151
00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:50,827
Um… [giggles]
152
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,454
[squeals, giggles] Sorry. Um…
153
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,706
I wanna say, I love this kind of stuff.
154
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,417
[laughs] Right? Right?
155
00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,753
I'm… I'm standing over there,
and I'm understanding some of it.
156
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,089
-[crowd laughing]
-[giggles] No, but…
157
00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:04,549
Um, because… Okay.
158
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:06,759
So, it's in an email,
so let me pull that up.
159
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,845
[crowd laughing and clapping]
160
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,056
[whooping]
161
00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:17,019
My… My fingers are sweating, so…
162
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,647
And I'm locked out of my phone
for 87 minutes.
163
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:22,733
Okay. [laughs]
I know. This is a nightmare.
164
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:24,986
No, um… You know what? I'm a professional.
165
00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:27,196
I'll just do it from memory. So, um…
166
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,115
Hey, guys, welcome in.
167
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,826
[crowd cheering]
168
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:33,453
Um, for tonight's show,
169
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:36,456
we'd like to extend,
um, a trigger warning.
170
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,040
-Uh…
-[crowd laughing]
171
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,168
Tonight's show
will include gunshot noises.
172
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:42,378
[repeated gunshots]
173
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,255
[rapid gunshots]
174
00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:45,798
[crowd laughing]
175
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:51,804
It… It is a little late for that one.
That's my bad.
176
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:55,433
I apologize
if that has bummed you out so far.
177
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,102
Um, guys, hey,
178
00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:00,855
tonight's show might include
a little bit of nudity.
179
00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:03,107
[crowd laughing]
180
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,817
[mouthing silently]
181
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,528
[crowd squealing and whooping]
182
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,116
[mouthing silently]
183
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:14,535
I… Me, personally, I love it.
184
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:16,996
I love both upstairs and downstairs.
185
00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:19,582
Um, I… I see it a lot here
186
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,918
and… and in my personal life as well.
187
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,754
What else? What else? What else? [giggles]
188
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,964
Um, hey, guys, if there's a fire,
189
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:28,424
get the hell outta here.
190
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,675
[crowd laughing]
191
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,594
Um… Gosh.
192
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,430
I'm never gonna forget this moment.
193
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,474
So I just wanna say, um,
194
00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:38,267
I guess I love you.
195
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,310
Uh…
196
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:41,145
[kisses] Thank you.
197
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:42,647
-[crowd cheering]
-[fanfare plays]
198
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,440
-[klaxon honking]
-Ah!
199
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:46,275
Stop!
200
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,361
[crowd cheering and clapping]
201
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,696
Erin, our stage manager!
202
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,865
-[male voice] Y-Y-Y-Yeah!
-[klaxon honking]
203
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,451
It's a skort, but you could imagine.
204
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,703
Now, this act needs no introduction
205
00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:01,040
but I was told if I do not introduce him
that would be confusing.
206
00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:04,460
So, ladies and gentlemen,
make some noise and welcome to the stage
207
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,129
the incredible Neil Patrick Harris!
208
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,549
-[rock music playing]
-[crowd cheering]
209
00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:22,186
[cheering]
210
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,729
[music ends]
211
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,776
-Neil Patrick Harris, everybody!
-[music resumes]
212
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:31,195
[crowd cheering]
213
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,489
We could only afford his appearance fee.
214
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,741
Okay, so… [laughs]
215
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:39,120
If you've never seen the show before,
that is it. So now, uh…
216
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,831
You did it again, Tucker.
217
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,583
-Now…
-[klaxon honking]
218
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,376
[male voice] Y-Y-Y-Yeah!
219
00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:47,128
We've got another performer coming up.
220
00:09:47,211 --> 00:09:49,297
Thank you so much, guys.
Appreciate your work.
221
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:50,423
I, uh…
222
00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:53,759
This next guy comes from Norway,
and I know what you're thinking.
223
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,428
-"Nor-way!"
-[male voice] Yeah!
224
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:58,806
Make some noise
for the incredible Viggo Venn!
225
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:00,057
♪ Let's do it again ♪
226
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,226
-[dance music playing]
-[crowd cheering]
227
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,982
♪ Let's do it again ♪
228
00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:09,942
[crowd clapping to music]
229
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,323
♪ Let's do it again ♪
230
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:17,491
[music stops abruptly]
231
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,243
[crowd laughing]
232
00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:26,000
{\an8}♪ Let's do it again ♪
233
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,878
[crowd cheering]
234
00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:31,631
♪ Let's ♪
235
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,507
♪ Let's ♪
236
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:35,217
♪ Do it again ♪
237
00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:37,053
♪ Let's do it again ♪
238
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:38,971
-[music ends]
-Sorry, is that it?
239
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,181
[crowd cheering]
240
00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:41,390
-[Viggo] What?
-That's it?
241
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:43,100
Y-You're done?
242
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,978
-No, no, no. Not yet. Not yet.
-[crowd laughing]
243
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:48,189
Hey… Is that it?
244
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:50,274
-What do you mean, was that it?
-Is that it?
245
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:51,734
-You want more?
-Of course.
246
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,611
♪ Let's do it again ♪
247
00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:55,071
[crowd cheering]
248
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,574
♪ Let's ♪
249
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,201
♪ Let's ♪
250
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:02,328
-[music stops]
-[crowd cheering]
251
00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:07,583
[crowd whooping]
252
00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:11,545
Can I tell you a Norwegian joke?
253
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,047
[crowd cheering]
254
00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:15,424
[speaking Norwegian]
255
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,884
[crowd laughing]
256
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,260
You heard it before?
257
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,097
-♪ Let's do it again! ♪
-[male voice] Yeah! Yeah!
258
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:23,391
[Jack] Okay, okay. Alright, alright.
259
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:25,184
♪ Let's do it… ♪
260
00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:27,061
[Jack] Stop. Alright. Stop, stop.
261
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:28,729
♪ Do it again ♪
262
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,816
-Wanna hear a Norwegian joke?
-[cheering]
263
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,567
-[distorted groaning]
-[laughing]
264
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:36,821
-♪ Do it again ♪
-[music ends]
265
00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:39,073
[crowd cheering]
266
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:40,157
♪ Let's do it again ♪
267
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,245
-[groaning]
-[laughing]
268
00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:45,746
[Jack] No!
269
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:47,790
♪ Let's do it again ♪
270
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:48,791
[klaxon honking]
271
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:50,710
[music continues]
272
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:56,924
[music stops abruptly]
273
00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:58,300
Who is that guy?
274
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:00,886
Who the fuck are you?
275
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,471
-[gun cocking]
-[crowd laughing]
276
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,724
I will exercise my right. [laughs]
277
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,267
And my left.
278
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:07,893
-[gunshot]
-No, but… [laughs]
279
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,103
{\an8}No, no.
280
00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:10,980
{\an8}-[crowd laughing]
-Uh-oh.
281
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:14,275
{\an8}-[repeated gunshots]
-Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
282
00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:16,485
{\an8}[crowd laughing]
283
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:18,863
[crowd cheering]
284
00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:20,573
♪ Let's do it again ♪
285
00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:25,619
-Okay. Alright.
-Stop, stop, stop.
286
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,538
-Stop it. Stop it.
-[music fades]
287
00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:28,664
-Stop it.
-Come on!
288
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,458
-Come on. Stop it.
-Stop it.
289
00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:31,959
[Jack] I didn't do anything.
290
00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:35,087
-You stop it!
-You stop it! I can't stop.
291
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,924
You guys are up here.
You gotta take it down a few notches.
292
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,010
No, keep the energy up. They are perfect.
293
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:42,928
-No, put it down.
-No.
294
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,430
-No.
-Stop.
295
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,640
-Stop it.
-[crowd cheering and whistling]
296
00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,934
You guys, this is serious.
297
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,436
We are upset.
298
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,980
We have been watching
this whole show backstage.
299
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,398
And we are appalled.
300
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,066
Not one person
301
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,110
has made a land acknowledgement yet.
302
00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,570
[crowd laughing]
303
00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:02,031
-That's what you're upset about?
-What are we doing?
304
00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:04,366
-So I guess it's on our shoulders.
-Yeah.
305
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:08,120
-We're back there, we're doing research.
-Hastily doing research.
306
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:12,082
We didn't have much time,
so we only went back 50 years.
307
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,709
But we gotta do it.
308
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:17,379
We have to acknowledge
who had this land before us.
309
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:20,007
1975 to 1984,
310
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,551
this land was owned
by the Centurion Group.
311
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:23,928
-Yeah.
-[crowd laughing]
312
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,389
Tell 'em who it is.
313
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,433
A consortium of real estate magnates
314
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:32,937
who lost all their money
when it went up their owner's nose.
315
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:36,649
-Feels like you guys barely did research.
-No, we did it. Keep going.
316
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:40,361
'84 to '96, it was owned
by the Oppenheimer Group.
317
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:43,989
-That's right.
-Who made their money off the atomic bomb.
318
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:46,408
-[explosion]
-Okay, come on!
319
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:49,662
-This is serious here.
-Goddammit.
320
00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:52,623
Finally, '97 to 2023,
321
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:55,251
this land was bequeathed
to the Mahogany Group.
322
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:56,168
Great.
323
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,796
Which you would hope
would be Black-owned businesses.
324
00:13:58,879 --> 00:13:59,964
You would hope.
325
00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:01,465
-Not the case.
-No.
326
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:04,385
Turns out it's a construction company
that puts mahogany wood
327
00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:06,804
into law office conference rooms, so…
328
00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:11,725
So while you're out there tonight,
sitting in your privilege,
329
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:17,439
why don't you take a moment
and think about the corporations
330
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:20,109
who had their land stolen from them…
331
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:23,487
So viciously ripped from their clutches.
332
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:27,116
…so that a theater could be put here?
333
00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:29,827
And while you're thinking about that,
334
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:31,328
think about this.
335
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:33,330
♪ Let's do it again! ♪
336
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:35,624
[dance music playing]
337
00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:47,428
-[music ends]
-[crowd cheering]
338
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:49,763
-[repeated explosions]
-[Jack yells]
339
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:52,683
Viggo Venn and the Just Do It Again nerds!
340
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:54,101
♪ Let's do it again ♪
341
00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:59,732
{\an8}-Oh my god.
-[music ends]
342
00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:02,484
{\an8}It's crazy.
We have had two acts so far. Um…
343
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,570
{\an8}Oh my… Oh my god.
344
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:07,948
{\an8}There's gotta be
a better way to do this, guys.
345
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:10,367
{\an8}Hey, who are you throwing this to?
346
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:12,828
{\an8}Not to me, not to me, not to me.
347
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,664
{\an8}Ay-yai-yai. Thanks, guys.
348
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:16,999
{\an8}Oh, Jesus Christ.
349
00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:19,460
{\an8}What could you possibly
need a trash can for?
350
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,713
{\an8}Brother, what are you,
a Slinky or something?
351
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:26,175
{\an8}-This venue is a nightmare.
-[crowd laughing]
352
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:30,012
Now, we want to try
something a little bit different tonight.
353
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:33,474
This is a lot of people's first time
being exposed to us, "allegedly."
354
00:15:33,557 --> 00:15:37,144
And, uh, we invited a journalist
to live-review the show.
355
00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:38,729
So, from the New York Times…
356
00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:40,147
[brief jazz sting]
357
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:42,316
-So, uh…
-[crowd laughing]
358
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:45,235
We also, in case you couldn't tell,
can't use copyright music,
359
00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:47,363
so we made sure to copy the right music.
360
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:48,489
[brief jazz sting]
361
00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:50,616
Two notes, that's all we get. So, uh…
362
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:52,117
[crowd laughing]
363
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:53,077
[screams]
364
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,703
So, uh… [laughs]
365
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:58,582
Please welcome to the stage
the incredible Martin Urbano!
366
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:01,085
-[big band music playing]
-[crowd cheering]
367
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,504
[clapping and cheering]
368
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:10,469
-[male voice] Yeah!
-[klaxon honking]
369
00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:12,846
[crowd cheering and whistling]
370
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,225
This show's crazy. Uh…
371
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:19,353
Can I read the review I've been writing?
Would that be alright?
372
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:21,772
[crowd cheering]
373
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:26,694
"I'm reporting live from the Stamptown
Netflix Special taping."
374
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:30,906
"For those of you who don't know,
Stamptown is a comedy variety show."
375
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:35,953
"But this isn't your mother's
comedy variety show, no."
376
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:37,913
"Your mom sucks."
377
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,373
[crowd laughing]
378
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:43,627
"The show kicked off
with host and emcee Jack Tucker,
379
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,088
a 'bad comedian' character
380
00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:50,384
portrayed by 'bad comedian
character actor' Zack Zucker."
381
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:52,553
[crowd laughing]
382
00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:55,097
"Zack does rapid-fire jokes,
383
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,808
so if you don't like one joke,
384
00:16:57,891 --> 00:16:59,560
that makes sense."
385
00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:01,979
[crowd laughing]
386
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:06,984
"The first act of the evening
was circus duo Daredevil Chicken."
387
00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:09,236
"Couple goals."
388
00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,155
Oh, sorry, no.
389
00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:12,781
"A couple goals."
390
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,742
"Never watch that act again,
391
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:17,536
and never sit in the front row
of a Stamptown show."
392
00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:19,872
[crowd laughing]
393
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:23,667
"After that,
we saw from venue manager Erin."
394
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:27,087
"She reminded me
of a Saturday Night Live character,
395
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:28,797
in a derogatory way."
396
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,799
[crowd laughing]
397
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:35,721
"Next up was comedian Viggo Venn."
398
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:39,558
"He may be best known
for winning Britain's Got Talent,
399
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:42,936
and he won by doing the impossible."
400
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:47,274
"He made notorious sourpuss Simon Cowell
401
00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:48,942
cum backstage."
402
00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:50,319
[crowd laughing]
403
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:53,739
"After that,
we saw from the Sklar Brothers."
404
00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:56,200
"Now, I've always been a fan of twins
405
00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:58,160
from all the porn I watch."
406
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:02,915
"The Sklar Brothers
did a comedic land acknowledgment,
407
00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:06,752
and I am against land acknowledgments."
408
00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:12,716
"If there's one thing I find more annoying
than liberal posturing,
409
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,802
it's Indigenous people."
410
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,887
[crowd laughing]
411
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:22,309
"We're not even halfway through the show,
412
00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:25,646
and I already see
a lot of work for the editors."
413
00:18:25,729 --> 00:18:27,439
"More to come, stay tuned."
414
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:28,941
Martin Urbano, everybody!
415
00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:30,984
-[big band music playing]
-[crowd cheering]
416
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:35,823
I would also like
to make a land acknowledgment.
417
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:39,243
I would like to acknowledge
that all of my jokes will land tonight.
418
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:41,453
-[explosion]
-[crowd cheering]
419
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,622
No, it's… We got a tough history.
420
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,541
But I, uh… [laughs]
421
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,876
I'm kind of an ingenious person myself.
422
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,837
-[male voice] Yeah!
-But I, uh… [laughs]
423
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,924
Jer, can we get somebody
to clean this up for the next act?
424
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:57,052
-We need to keep the stage clean.
-[Jer] Let me get someone.
425
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,971
[rock music playing]
426
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:01,223
[crowd cheering and whistling]
427
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:10,190
[crowd cheering]
428
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:23,245
-[voice] Yeah!
-[music ends]
429
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:25,414
[crowd cheering and whistling]
430
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:27,749
Fuck it, do it again.
431
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,002
-[rock music playing]
-[Jack laughing]
432
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:43,765
[guitar solo wailing]
433
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,697
-[music ends]
-[crowd cheering]
434
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,367
Keep going.
435
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:05,746
You don't have an AirPod in there.
436
00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:07,664
[crowd laughing]
437
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:10,792
-You talking to him?
-Not the cameraman. I'm talking to you.
438
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:14,546
-He's talking to you.
-Don't go down the barrel. Stay with me.
439
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,089
-Sorry, what?
-You don't have a…
440
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,508
You never put it back in.
It was in your hand.
441
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,135
You didn't have two in there.
442
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,471
Don't do a third one. I know…
443
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:25,098
[crowd laughing and cheering]
444
00:20:25,682 --> 00:20:26,892
Don't cheer for…
445
00:20:26,975 --> 00:20:29,519
A round of applause for an AirPod removal?
446
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,271
[crowd cheering]
447
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:33,148
[cheering intensifies]
448
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,191
[fanfare playing]
449
00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:37,152
I'm sorry,
where has that love or support been for me
450
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,862
for one single moment tonight?
451
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:41,657
See, the mood is down now.
452
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,742
[crowd laughing]
453
00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:45,994
Fuck you.
454
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,913
[crowd whooping]
455
00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:49,122
[male voice] Y-Y-Y-Yeah!
456
00:20:49,706 --> 00:20:51,583
Do you know how hard I've worked for this?
457
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,086
-You talking to that guy?
-I'm not talking to him.
458
00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:57,172
You are answering
as soon as I finish speaking.
459
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,173
[quietly] Sorry?
460
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:01,218
Get the hell out of here.
Cory Peter Lane, everybody.
461
00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:03,220
-[rock music playing]
-[crowd clapping]
462
00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:04,596
[music ends]
463
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,348
{\an8}This stage is an absolute mess.
464
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:07,975
{\an8}It's unreal.
465
00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:10,227
{\an8}Oh my god. Thanks, guys.
Yeah, we gotta do…
466
00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:12,312
{\an8}-[crowd cheering]
-[Jack] Thanks, Neil.
467
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,022
{\an8}Thank you.
468
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:16,024
{\an8}Thank you so much.
469
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:17,609
{\an8}Hey, are you okay?
470
00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:19,486
{\an8}You don't look good.
471
00:21:19,569 --> 00:21:20,529
{\an8}Yeah, alright.
472
00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:22,447
{\an8}[crowd laughing]
473
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,449
{\an8}Man, uh,
474
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:28,370
{\an8}I feel like I've been cool
about a lot of stuff tonight, you know?
475
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:30,205
{\an8}I'm letting a lot of stuff slide.
476
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,416
{\an8}Yeah, a lot of people
sliding over the stage.
477
00:21:32,499 --> 00:21:34,251
[screeching echoes]
478
00:21:34,334 --> 00:21:36,336
{\an8}[crowd laughing]
479
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,840
{\an8}Listen, I don't wanna have to do this,
but I'm putting my foot down.
480
00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:41,300
{\an8}[Jack laughing]
481
00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:43,885
{\an8}I mean, you gotta give it to him.
It's pretty amazing.
482
00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:46,805
{\an8}[crowd cheering and clapping]
483
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:53,312
Oh my god.
We got something very exciting for you.
484
00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:55,272
We're excited to share this with you.
485
00:21:55,355 --> 00:21:57,357
Make some noise and welcome to the stage
486
00:21:57,441 --> 00:22:00,444
the incredible Vanessa 5000!
487
00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:02,821
-[crowd cheering]
-[upbeat music playing]
488
00:22:04,114 --> 00:22:06,116
[crowd clapping and cheering]
489
00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:13,707
[music fades]
490
00:22:13,790 --> 00:22:15,876
[crowd whooping]
491
00:22:20,213 --> 00:22:21,923
[laughing]
492
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:24,801
[robotically] Hello.
493
00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:26,011
[crowd laughing]
494
00:22:26,094 --> 00:22:28,263
My name is Vanessa 5000
495
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:31,099
and I am here to destroy humanity.
496
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:33,185
Just kidding, I'm a sex robot. Ha, ha.
497
00:22:33,268 --> 00:22:35,228
[crowd laughing]
498
00:22:35,312 --> 00:22:38,023
[speaking in Spanish]
499
00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:46,323
[crowd laughing]
500
00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:51,244
Would you like to see
a demonstration of my capabilities?
501
00:22:51,328 --> 00:22:52,913
[crowd cheering]
502
00:22:53,955 --> 00:22:54,790
Okay.
503
00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:57,292
First things first, a little bit about me.
504
00:22:58,085 --> 00:23:00,796
Aside from the obvious,
sucking and fucking…
505
00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:02,172
[crowd laughing]
506
00:23:02,255 --> 00:23:03,882
…I have many amazing qualities
507
00:23:03,965 --> 00:23:06,510
that make me an intelligent purchase
for the modern man.
508
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:08,553
Number one,
509
00:23:09,179 --> 00:23:10,722
I am not made of human flesh,
510
00:23:10,806 --> 00:23:12,891
so I do not contain pathogens.
511
00:23:12,974 --> 00:23:14,518
[crowd laughing]
512
00:23:14,601 --> 00:23:16,478
No monkeypox for me, ha, ha.
513
00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:18,480
[crowd laughing]
514
00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:19,523
Number two,
515
00:23:20,023 --> 00:23:23,318
I come complete with three tight,
supple, and realistic-feeling holes
516
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:26,154
that are 100% removable
and dishwasher safe.
517
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:27,948
[crowd laughing]
518
00:23:31,701 --> 00:23:33,495
-[squeaking]
-[crowd laughing]
519
00:23:33,578 --> 00:23:35,497
[crowd cheering and clapping]
520
00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:37,207
And number three,
521
00:23:37,707 --> 00:23:40,043
I am programmed
to have a pleasing personality.
522
00:23:40,127 --> 00:23:42,462
I will not nag
and make you talk about stupid shit
523
00:23:42,546 --> 00:23:44,005
like your bitch wife, ha, ha.
524
00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:45,924
[crowd laughing]
525
00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:49,928
I will talk to you about things
you like to talk about.
526
00:23:50,011 --> 00:23:52,889
So, fellas,
what would you like to talk to me about?
527
00:23:52,973 --> 00:23:54,558
Select from the following options.
528
00:23:54,641 --> 00:23:56,101
The big sports game,
529
00:23:56,184 --> 00:23:57,352
Call of Duty,
530
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:58,562
Dungeons and Dragons,
531
00:23:58,645 --> 00:23:59,896
or cryptocurrency.
532
00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:01,648
[crowd laughing]
533
00:24:02,315 --> 00:24:03,483
[man] Cryptocurrency.
534
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:05,318
[Vanessa] Okay.
535
00:24:05,402 --> 00:24:08,905
Tell me everything you know
about cryptocurrency.
536
00:24:08,989 --> 00:24:11,074
[crowd laughing and clapping]
537
00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:12,951
So, there's a blockchain…
538
00:24:13,034 --> 00:24:15,036
[crowd laughing]
539
00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:16,580
You can use…
540
00:24:16,663 --> 00:24:18,290
Wow, I agree. You are so smart.
541
00:24:18,373 --> 00:24:21,460
I never really thought about it like that.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
542
00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:24,087
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
543
00:24:24,171 --> 00:24:25,672
[crowd clapping]
544
00:24:25,755 --> 00:24:26,923
Okay, fuckers.
545
00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:29,468
Let me see.
546
00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:32,554
What to do? What to do?
547
00:24:33,555 --> 00:24:35,724
I myself do not have desires
or preferences.
548
00:24:36,224 --> 00:24:39,269
How about I take a suggestion
for a task to complete?
549
00:24:39,352 --> 00:24:40,353
But please,
550
00:24:40,437 --> 00:24:42,606
do not shout your task request out loud.
551
00:24:43,398 --> 00:24:46,318
I would like to show you how I can predict
the audience's request
552
00:24:46,401 --> 00:24:48,445
by scanning everyone's search history,
553
00:24:48,528 --> 00:24:51,281
purchase history, credit score,
and biometric data.
554
00:24:51,364 --> 00:24:53,617
[whirring and bleeping]
555
00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:55,202
-[short beep]
-Okay, bitches.
556
00:24:55,285 --> 00:24:56,912
[crowd laughing]
557
00:24:57,621 --> 00:24:59,122
Downloading a sexy dance
558
00:24:59,206 --> 00:25:01,917
to an industrial rock song
that will play out of my asshole.
559
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,002
[crowd laughing]
560
00:25:04,753 --> 00:25:06,796
[industrial rock music playing]
561
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,882
[crowd cheering]
562
00:25:16,890 --> 00:25:18,892
[whooping and whistling]
563
00:25:25,732 --> 00:25:26,691
{\an8}[squeaking]
564
00:25:26,775 --> 00:25:28,693
{\an8}[crowd cheering]
565
00:25:30,737 --> 00:25:32,989
[boinging]
566
00:25:35,825 --> 00:25:38,286
{\an8}[dial-up modem tone playing over music]
567
00:25:41,289 --> 00:25:44,292
{\an8}-[music stops abruptly]
-[crowd cheering and whistling]
568
00:25:44,834 --> 00:25:46,419
{\an8}Uh-oh, I am stuck.
569
00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:48,046
{\an8}I am your stepmom.
570
00:25:48,129 --> 00:25:49,756
{\an8}[crowd laughing]
571
00:25:49,839 --> 00:25:54,052
{\an8}Won't somebody please get up here
and help their poor stepmother?
572
00:25:54,135 --> 00:25:55,804
{\an8}Sir, you.
573
00:25:55,887 --> 00:25:58,223
{\an8}Please, please.
574
00:25:58,306 --> 00:26:00,517
{\an8}-Yes.
-[crowd cheering]
575
00:26:03,603 --> 00:26:05,522
{\an8}I just need you to go ahead and whack me
576
00:26:05,605 --> 00:26:07,232
{\an8}like an old antenna TV.
577
00:26:07,315 --> 00:26:08,942
{\an8}[crowd laughing]
578
00:26:09,025 --> 00:26:10,485
{\an8}[cheering]
579
00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:12,612
{\an8}[whooping]
580
00:26:12,696 --> 00:26:13,738
{\an8}Harder.
581
00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:15,907
{\an8}[crowd laughing]
582
00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:17,075
{\an8}Harder.
583
00:26:17,576 --> 00:26:18,493
{\an8}Harder.
584
00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:25,041
{\an8}[crowd laughing]
585
00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:31,548
You are such a good stepson.
586
00:26:31,631 --> 00:26:33,925
[crowd laughing and clapping]
587
00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:38,179
Why don't you go ahead and give mommy
588
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:39,806
a little kiss?
589
00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:42,434
[crowd cheering and clapping]
590
00:26:47,022 --> 00:26:48,732
[whooping]
591
00:26:48,815 --> 00:26:51,318
[klaxon honking]
592
00:26:52,611 --> 00:26:54,613
[crowd cheering and clapping]
593
00:26:57,115 --> 00:26:58,992
Herpes detected. Herpes detected.
594
00:26:59,075 --> 00:27:00,827
-Herpes detected.
-[crowd laughing]
595
00:27:00,910 --> 00:27:04,331
-Self-destructing in ten, nine…
-[alarm beeping]
596
00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:06,750
-Oh, god. Okay. Let's get him outta here.
-…eight, seven…
597
00:27:06,833 --> 00:27:10,045
-[alarm whistling]
-…six, five, four…
598
00:27:10,128 --> 00:27:13,173
-[whistling intensifies]
-…three, two, one.
599
00:27:13,673 --> 00:27:15,050
[explosion]
600
00:27:16,217 --> 00:27:18,011
[crowd cheering]
601
00:27:18,094 --> 00:27:20,472
[sad trumpet playing]
602
00:27:21,598 --> 00:27:23,600
{\an8}-[lounge music playing]
-[crowd cheering]
603
00:27:25,143 --> 00:27:27,062
{\an8}[Jack] Jonathan Dely on the trumpet.
604
00:27:29,022 --> 00:27:31,524
{\an8}-How 'bout this guy?
-[crowd cheering]
605
00:27:32,859 --> 00:27:34,986
{\an8}-Buy yourself something nice.
-[music fades]
606
00:27:35,070 --> 00:27:37,864
Oh my god, where are you going?
Hey, you guys are leaving.
607
00:27:38,448 --> 00:27:40,075
Go get 'em, boys. Get 'em.
608
00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:42,160
[crowd laughing]
609
00:27:43,161 --> 00:27:47,040
Alright, you guys can probably tell
I'm kind of stallin' right now, uh…
610
00:27:47,123 --> 00:27:48,541
Not the guy, uh…
611
00:27:48,625 --> 00:27:49,751
You wish, Antifa.
612
00:27:49,834 --> 00:27:51,294
Uh, but, uh… [laughs]
613
00:27:51,378 --> 00:27:52,921
Our next act is not here
614
00:27:53,004 --> 00:27:55,465
and we don't have anybody who can perform.
615
00:27:55,548 --> 00:27:57,550
[emotional music playing]
616
00:28:02,180 --> 00:28:03,973
[crowd laughing]
617
00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:05,684
[cheering]
618
00:28:05,767 --> 00:28:07,769
[clapping and cheering]
619
00:28:25,286 --> 00:28:26,246
[mouthing silently]
620
00:28:26,329 --> 00:28:28,665
[crowd cheering]
621
00:28:28,748 --> 00:28:32,335
Luckily, this is a festival,
so we found a replacement very quick.
622
00:28:32,419 --> 00:28:34,921
I am so excited to bring on
this next performer.
623
00:28:35,004 --> 00:28:38,633
Please welcome to the stage
the incredible Ike Ufomadu!
624
00:28:38,717 --> 00:28:40,260
[crowd cheering]
625
00:28:40,343 --> 00:28:42,137
♪ Here's my strut, do-do-do ♪
626
00:28:42,220 --> 00:28:43,763
♪ Strutting my way on over to you ♪
627
00:28:43,847 --> 00:28:45,682
♪ You like my strut? I like yours too ♪
628
00:28:45,765 --> 00:28:47,475
♪ Strutting my way on over to you ♪
629
00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:49,602
♪ Seems like these days
I got nothing to do… ♪
630
00:28:49,686 --> 00:28:51,730
-[music fades]
-[crowd cheering]
631
00:28:56,359 --> 00:28:58,820
[crowd laughing]
632
00:29:01,406 --> 00:29:05,285
-Well, well, well.
-[crowd laughing]
633
00:29:05,869 --> 00:29:10,039
Well, well, well, well.
634
00:29:10,123 --> 00:29:16,212
Well, well, well, well, well, well, well,
635
00:29:16,296 --> 00:29:19,674
well, well, well, well,
636
00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:23,344
well, well, well,
637
00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:25,430
well, well.
638
00:29:26,014 --> 00:29:29,642
Well, well, well.
639
00:29:30,935 --> 00:29:35,565
-Well, well, well.
-[crowd laughing]
640
00:29:35,648 --> 00:29:38,985
Well, well, well,
641
00:29:39,068 --> 00:29:42,197
well, well,
642
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,533
well, well.
643
00:29:46,409 --> 00:29:49,245
-Well.
-[crowd laughing]
644
00:29:49,329 --> 00:29:50,580
Well.
645
00:29:51,915 --> 00:29:54,542
If it isn't the audience.
646
00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:57,003
-[crowd laughing and clapping]
-[klaxon honking]
647
00:30:00,590 --> 00:30:02,675
Let's get one thing straight.
648
00:30:03,343 --> 00:30:05,345
I'm not here to make friends.
649
00:30:07,138 --> 00:30:09,224
I'm here to make best friends.
650
00:30:09,307 --> 00:30:11,976
How's everybody out there doing tonight?
651
00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:13,937
-[crowd cheering]
-[klaxon honking]
652
00:30:14,020 --> 00:30:15,355
[male voice] Y-Y-Yeah!
653
00:30:15,855 --> 00:30:18,858
A bit about me.
My name is Ike… [inhales sharply]
654
00:30:19,359 --> 00:30:21,486
Uf… omadu.
655
00:30:21,569 --> 00:30:23,571
I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly.
656
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:29,244
I'm sure some of you heard my name
and thought, hey, that's a baby name.
657
00:30:29,327 --> 00:30:31,287
[crowd laughing]
658
00:30:32,747 --> 00:30:34,332
And you're right.
659
00:30:34,415 --> 00:30:35,542
It was.
660
00:30:35,625 --> 00:30:37,168
[crowd laughing]
661
00:30:37,252 --> 00:30:39,379
But that baby grew up
662
00:30:39,879 --> 00:30:42,966
into the adult who stands before you now.
663
00:30:43,049 --> 00:30:47,929
That's right. You're looking at someone
who's at least 18 years of age.
664
00:30:48,805 --> 00:30:51,307
And loving it.
665
00:30:51,391 --> 00:30:53,101
[crowd laughing]
666
00:30:53,184 --> 00:30:56,521
But that doesn't mean
I don't miss being a baby.
667
00:30:57,230 --> 00:30:59,482
I know they call them the terrible twos,
668
00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:03,862
but for me, those were
some of the best times of my life.
669
00:31:04,571 --> 00:31:09,158
Terrible twos? More like terrific twos.
670
00:31:09,659 --> 00:31:12,620
Terribly terrific twos.
671
00:31:13,746 --> 00:31:15,331
I forgot to mention at the top
672
00:31:15,415 --> 00:31:18,668
that I will be injecting my jokes
with a little bit of humor tonight…
673
00:31:18,751 --> 00:31:20,336
[crowd laughing]
674
00:31:20,420 --> 00:31:23,381
…as a way to keep them
both engaging and fun.
675
00:31:24,215 --> 00:31:27,635
As regards astrology,
my birth sign is Gemini,
676
00:31:27,719 --> 00:31:29,762
my birth president was Ronald Reagan,
677
00:31:29,846 --> 00:31:32,515
my birth Secretary of State
was George Shultz,
678
00:31:32,599 --> 00:31:36,144
and my birth political scandal
was the Iran-Contra affair.
679
00:31:36,227 --> 00:31:38,021
[crowd laughing]
680
00:31:38,104 --> 00:31:39,731
Which might not be apparent now,
681
00:31:39,814 --> 00:31:42,984
but once you get to know me,
it becomes crystal clear.
682
00:31:43,067 --> 00:31:44,694
[crowd laughing]
683
00:31:46,154 --> 00:31:47,071
Well,
684
00:31:47,155 --> 00:31:48,531
I better split.
685
00:31:48,615 --> 00:31:50,617
[crowd laughing]
686
00:31:50,700 --> 00:31:52,493
Not atomically.
687
00:31:52,577 --> 00:31:54,454
[crowd laughing]
688
00:31:55,038 --> 00:31:57,457
From what little I know
of nuclear physics,
689
00:31:57,540 --> 00:32:01,252
the resulting explosion
would be devastating.
690
00:32:02,462 --> 00:32:05,673
No, I simply mean
that it's time for me to go.
691
00:32:06,174 --> 00:32:08,217
And this is an emotional moment for me.
692
00:32:08,301 --> 00:32:10,428
Since coming out here
some few minutes ago,
693
00:32:10,511 --> 00:32:12,680
I can honestly say… [clears throat]
694
00:32:13,473 --> 00:32:16,601
I can honestly say you all have become
like an audience to me,
695
00:32:16,684 --> 00:32:19,354
and I'll never forget it.
696
00:32:19,437 --> 00:32:21,522
Good night, everybody. Thank you.
697
00:32:21,606 --> 00:32:23,399
-[crowd cheering]
-["Struttin'" playing]
698
00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:25,526
-Ike Ufomadu!
-[crowd cheering]
699
00:32:25,610 --> 00:32:27,028
[male voice] Y-Y-Y-Yeah!
700
00:32:27,111 --> 00:32:28,863
Y-Y-Yeah! Yeah!
701
00:32:31,741 --> 00:32:33,117
-My god.
-[music ends]
702
00:32:33,201 --> 00:32:34,786
-Thanks, guys.
-[crowd cheering]
703
00:32:34,869 --> 00:32:37,747
Sorry, has no one ever seen
physical comedy before?
704
00:32:38,456 --> 00:32:41,125
Pantone says it's the new color of 2026.
705
00:32:41,209 --> 00:32:44,045
{\an8}Oh my god. Jesus Christ.
706
00:32:44,963 --> 00:32:47,090
{\an8}-What is this?
-[crowd laughing]
707
00:32:48,299 --> 00:32:50,259
{\an8}You got a body cam and a helmet cam?
708
00:32:50,343 --> 00:32:51,427
{\an8}What are you doing?
709
00:32:51,511 --> 00:32:53,596
{\an8}-[objects crashing]
-[crowd laughing]
710
00:32:54,764 --> 00:32:57,392
Keep going,
I'm gonna milk that laugh right there.
711
00:32:57,475 --> 00:32:59,352
[laughing]
712
00:32:59,435 --> 00:33:01,688
I got a bucket full of laughs.
713
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,148
Okay, uh… [laughs]
714
00:33:04,232 --> 00:33:06,025
…this crowd is laugh-tose intolerant.
715
00:33:06,109 --> 00:33:07,402
-[male voice] Uh-oh!
-Okay…
716
00:33:07,485 --> 00:33:09,070
[crowd laughing]
717
00:33:09,153 --> 00:33:10,196
Jeremy, line?
718
00:33:10,780 --> 00:33:13,366
-[Jeremy] What?
-Yes, what I was doing was the show.
719
00:33:13,449 --> 00:33:15,493
[laughing]
720
00:33:15,576 --> 00:33:18,371
It's crazy, you are so visible,
you in the hi-vis.
721
00:33:18,454 --> 00:33:19,622
Hi, Vis! Hello!
722
00:33:19,706 --> 00:33:20,999
Uh, and then…
723
00:33:21,082 --> 00:33:22,917
Roasted you. Suck my balls. And then…
724
00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:24,377
[pained scream from crowd]
725
00:33:24,460 --> 00:33:26,379
[crowd laughing]
726
00:33:26,462 --> 00:33:28,506
[woman] I'm not joking, it really hurts.
727
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:30,758
[woman screaming]
728
00:33:30,842 --> 00:33:32,468
-Uh…
-[Jeremy] Let's stop. Sorry.
729
00:33:32,552 --> 00:33:35,888
-Yeah? Okay, cameras down.
-[Jeremy] That's a halt, everybody.
730
00:33:35,972 --> 00:33:37,265
-Is it serious?
-[Jeremy] Yeah.
731
00:33:37,348 --> 00:33:38,933
-Okay, um…
-[Jeremy] Um…
732
00:33:39,017 --> 00:33:40,893
[Jack] Do you need… Do you need a medic?
733
00:33:40,977 --> 00:33:42,061
[Erin] We have a medic.
734
00:33:42,145 --> 00:33:43,980
[Jeremy] Yeah, bring her backstage.
735
00:33:44,063 --> 00:33:45,189
[Jack] Are you okay?
736
00:33:45,273 --> 00:33:46,858
-[woman] No.
-[Jack] Okay.
737
00:33:46,941 --> 00:33:49,318
-[woman] What is all this shit?
-[crowd laughing]
738
00:33:49,402 --> 00:33:52,196
Starting to feel like this
isn't as serious as I thought.
739
00:33:53,197 --> 00:33:54,282
It's really bad.
740
00:33:54,365 --> 00:33:56,868
You look pregnant.
I don't want to be rude, but, uh…
741
00:33:57,910 --> 00:33:59,162
I think my…
742
00:33:59,245 --> 00:34:01,247
my baby wants stage time.
743
00:34:01,330 --> 00:34:03,041
-Oh my god.
-[crowd laughing]
744
00:34:03,124 --> 00:34:05,752
-Are you kidding me? We don't…
-[crowd cheering]
745
00:34:06,627 --> 00:34:07,795
We don't possibly have…
746
00:34:07,879 --> 00:34:10,465
[woman] Oh my god, wait!
No, it's happening!
747
00:34:11,090 --> 00:34:11,966
[woman screams]
748
00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:13,718
I'm having a nepo baby!
749
00:34:13,801 --> 00:34:15,553
-[baby crying]
-[crowd laughing]
750
00:34:15,636 --> 00:34:17,638
-[Jack] Oh my god!
-[baby crying]
751
00:34:18,723 --> 00:34:19,766
[woman gasps]
752
00:34:19,849 --> 00:34:21,851
Oh my god!
753
00:34:21,934 --> 00:34:23,936
[crowd laughing]
754
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:26,856
[baby wailing]
755
00:34:37,533 --> 00:34:39,535
[crowd laughing]
756
00:34:42,371 --> 00:34:44,499
-[wailing stops]
-[crowd laughing]
757
00:34:47,627 --> 00:34:49,837
[baby panting]
758
00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:51,964
[crowd cheering and clapping]
759
00:34:52,048 --> 00:34:53,382
[fanfare playing]
760
00:34:54,967 --> 00:34:56,969
[crowd laughing]
761
00:34:57,845 --> 00:34:59,597
How's everybody doing tonight?
762
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:01,891
[crowd cheering and clapping]
763
00:35:05,895 --> 00:35:09,065
Would you guys mind
if I try my tight five?
764
00:35:09,148 --> 00:35:11,317
[crowd laughing and cheering]
765
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:14,070
-[Jack] It's got material already?
-Amazing crowd.
766
00:35:14,153 --> 00:35:17,031
I can't believe I'm gonna get to do my set
767
00:35:17,115 --> 00:35:21,160
after grinding material for nine months
in the mothership.
768
00:35:21,244 --> 00:35:23,246
-[drum sting]
-[crowd cheering]
769
00:35:25,748 --> 00:35:27,542
[male voice] Yeah! Y-Y-Y-Yeah!
770
00:35:29,293 --> 00:35:30,294
Okay.
771
00:35:30,378 --> 00:35:32,922
Let's see, let's see.
What do we got? What do we got?
772
00:35:33,005 --> 00:35:34,048
Um…
773
00:35:35,341 --> 00:35:37,385
I just heard this new thing.
774
00:35:38,094 --> 00:35:41,264
Have you guys… you guys hear about this?
775
00:35:41,848 --> 00:35:44,600
It's, uh, it's this new thing called
776
00:35:44,684 --> 00:35:45,810
being alive?
777
00:35:45,893 --> 00:35:48,020
-[drum sting]
-[crowd laughing]
778
00:35:48,104 --> 00:35:50,189
Okay, uh… Uh…
779
00:35:50,690 --> 00:35:51,732
Ah, jeez, uh…
780
00:35:51,816 --> 00:35:54,235
What else? What else? What else?
781
00:35:55,278 --> 00:35:56,904
Don't you hate it
782
00:35:56,988 --> 00:35:58,865
when you're trying to sleep
783
00:35:58,948 --> 00:36:00,992
and your dad keeps poking you in the head
784
00:36:01,075 --> 00:36:02,410
with his dick?
785
00:36:02,493 --> 00:36:04,412
[crowd laughing]
786
00:36:04,495 --> 00:36:06,164
It's like, "Come on, buster."
787
00:36:06,247 --> 00:36:07,498
"You go any deeper,
788
00:36:07,582 --> 00:36:09,584
you're gonna get me pregnant."
789
00:36:09,667 --> 00:36:12,044
-[drum sting]
-[crowd laughing]
790
00:36:12,128 --> 00:36:13,713
Oh, jeez, I'm…
791
00:36:13,796 --> 00:36:15,381
I'm dying up here.
792
00:36:16,299 --> 00:36:19,051
I feel like I'm coming down
with a case of SIDS.
793
00:36:19,135 --> 00:36:21,137
[crowd laughing]
794
00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:25,474
Okay, um, let's see.
795
00:36:25,558 --> 00:36:27,560
[crowd laughing]
796
00:36:29,145 --> 00:36:31,814
[baby coughing]
797
00:36:32,481 --> 00:36:34,901
Mom, can I get a drink of water?
798
00:36:34,984 --> 00:36:36,485
Water! Thank you.
799
00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:40,114
[crowd laughing and clapping]
800
00:36:43,034 --> 00:36:45,077
Ah! Whew!
801
00:36:45,661 --> 00:36:46,787
Thanks, Mom.
802
00:36:48,331 --> 00:36:50,666
I'm killing harder than a wire hanger.
803
00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:53,085
[crowd laughing]
804
00:36:53,169 --> 00:36:55,630
Let's see, what else,
what else, what else?
805
00:36:56,547 --> 00:36:57,548
Oh, here we go.
806
00:36:57,632 --> 00:36:59,383
Uh, how about trans stuff?
807
00:36:59,467 --> 00:37:01,636
Okay, no, no, no, no. Okay, that's uh…
808
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:05,473
Every good legendary comedy special
has trans stuff, right?
809
00:37:06,265 --> 00:37:07,850
[crowd laughing]
810
00:37:07,934 --> 00:37:09,518
Just… Just one or two more.
811
00:37:09,602 --> 00:37:11,312
Oh, here we go, here's a good one.
812
00:37:11,395 --> 00:37:14,023
What's the deal with airplane food?
813
00:37:14,106 --> 00:37:16,067
You know, it looks like a spoon
814
00:37:16,150 --> 00:37:18,778
and it sounds like…
[imitates airplane engine]
815
00:37:19,403 --> 00:37:22,990
Now, this is what I call
a late stage abortion.
816
00:37:23,074 --> 00:37:26,744
Natalie Palamides
and Riki Lindhome, everybody!
817
00:37:26,827 --> 00:37:29,538
-[crowd cheering]
-[rock music playing]
818
00:37:30,373 --> 00:37:33,209
What's my stance on abortion?
Probably something like this.
819
00:37:33,292 --> 00:37:34,252
Hi-yah!
820
00:37:34,335 --> 00:37:35,878
-So, uh…
-[crowd laughing]
821
00:37:38,172 --> 00:37:39,632
[fanfare playing]
822
00:37:39,715 --> 00:37:40,591
[slurps]
823
00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:42,134
That was hilarious. Okay, so…
824
00:37:42,218 --> 00:37:43,469
[crowd laughing]
825
00:37:43,552 --> 00:37:47,181
Anyways, um, before we finish this,
we got two more acts.
826
00:37:47,265 --> 00:37:51,143
Maybe we check in with our reviewer,
Martin Urbano, one last time.
827
00:37:51,227 --> 00:37:52,979
-[crowd cheering]
-See what he says.
828
00:37:53,062 --> 00:37:56,565
Let's get a mic stand out here for him.
It's Martin Urbano!
829
00:37:56,649 --> 00:37:58,567
-[crowd cheering]
-Oh my god.
830
00:37:58,651 --> 00:38:00,861
[big band music playing]
831
00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:06,534
-[music fades]
-"Wowie zowie."
832
00:38:06,617 --> 00:38:09,161
"That reviewer guy is good."
833
00:38:09,245 --> 00:38:11,247
"And he's cute too."
834
00:38:11,330 --> 00:38:15,793
"Next up, we saw from an AI sex robot
835
00:38:15,876 --> 00:38:18,296
named Vanessa 5000."
836
00:38:18,379 --> 00:38:19,630
"Which reminds me,
837
00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:23,926
can you believe some people
have AI girlfriends?"
838
00:38:24,010 --> 00:38:25,052
"Man,
839
00:38:25,136 --> 00:38:28,806
AI girls never go for nice guys like me."
840
00:38:28,889 --> 00:38:30,141
[crowd laughing]
841
00:38:30,224 --> 00:38:33,853
"After that,
we saw from comedian Ike Ufomadu."
842
00:38:33,936 --> 00:38:39,400
"He started his set by getting laughs
without saying any punchlines."
843
00:38:39,483 --> 00:38:42,111
"Similar to comedian Matt Rife."
844
00:38:42,194 --> 00:38:44,697
[crowd laughing and clapping]
845
00:38:44,780 --> 00:38:47,033
"In fact, I've always said
846
00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:50,328
Matt Rife is like the white Ike Ufomadu."
847
00:38:50,411 --> 00:38:52,413
[crowd laughing]
848
00:38:53,914 --> 00:38:58,002
"After that, a woman gave birth on stage
849
00:38:58,085 --> 00:39:02,173
and then her baby started doing stand-up."
850
00:39:02,256 --> 00:39:05,801
"Wow. Someone doing stand-up
for the first time
851
00:39:05,885 --> 00:39:08,095
in front of a giant theater?"
852
00:39:08,179 --> 00:39:09,972
"Only on Netflix."
853
00:39:10,056 --> 00:39:12,975
-[Netflix intro playing]
-[crowd laughing and cheering]
854
00:39:15,311 --> 00:39:18,522
"So I'm just gonna go ahead
and call it now."
855
00:39:18,606 --> 00:39:20,983
"Especially since
most of the viewers at home
856
00:39:21,067 --> 00:39:23,611
have already turned this off anyway."
857
00:39:23,694 --> 00:39:26,906
"In fact,
I think the Stamptown Comedy Special
858
00:39:26,989 --> 00:39:31,619
is going to absolutely dominate
the "Continue Watching" list.
859
00:39:31,702 --> 00:39:33,412
[crowd laughing]
860
00:39:33,496 --> 00:39:37,249
"I give Stamptown a well-deserved
861
00:39:37,333 --> 00:39:39,543
two out of five stars."
862
00:39:39,627 --> 00:39:41,420
-[fanfare playing]
-[crowd cheering]
863
00:39:41,504 --> 00:39:43,672
[Jack] Martin Urbano, everybody!
864
00:39:43,756 --> 00:39:45,966
-[big band music playing]
-[crowd cheering]
865
00:39:53,432 --> 00:39:56,060
{\an8}-[music fades]
-Alrighty, anyways. We, um…
866
00:39:56,894 --> 00:39:58,312
{\an8}[crowd laughing]
867
00:40:02,149 --> 00:40:03,818
The magic of visual storytelling.
868
00:40:03,901 --> 00:40:05,694
[Jack laughing]
869
00:40:07,279 --> 00:40:09,657
Hear ye, hear ye.
870
00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:12,034
How does he do it? Uh, so…
871
00:40:12,118 --> 00:40:13,953
-[fanfare playing]
-[crowd laughing]
872
00:40:15,037 --> 00:40:17,164
Come on, you guys see what I'm smoking on.
873
00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:18,374
Hold on.
874
00:40:19,875 --> 00:40:21,627
Hey, nice to meet you.
875
00:40:21,710 --> 00:40:23,170
[crowd laughing]
876
00:40:23,254 --> 00:40:25,089
Oops, sorry. Just kidding.
877
00:40:25,172 --> 00:40:27,258
-But I, uh…
-[rock music playing]
878
00:40:28,426 --> 00:40:30,636
-[music ends]
-Whoa, whoa. Where you going?
879
00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:31,637
[man] Bathroom.
880
00:40:31,720 --> 00:40:33,013
Oh, just piss in my mouth.
881
00:40:33,097 --> 00:40:35,099
[crowd laughing]
882
00:40:35,808 --> 00:40:38,060
That's my cousin. Okay. [laughs]
883
00:40:38,144 --> 00:40:40,104
[crowd laughing]
884
00:40:40,187 --> 00:40:42,606
{\an8}Oof. That's an old classic bit
we do all the time,
885
00:40:42,690 --> 00:40:44,233
but it's weird to look your family…
886
00:40:44,316 --> 00:40:46,485
[muffled crashing]
887
00:40:50,072 --> 00:40:52,032
-[cameraman] Got it!
-Thank you. So, uh…
888
00:40:52,116 --> 00:40:53,659
[crowd laughing]
889
00:40:53,742 --> 00:40:58,247
I'm sorry. You guys can probably tell,
once again, we are filling time right now.
890
00:40:58,330 --> 00:40:59,832
Basically, um…
891
00:41:00,374 --> 00:41:03,127
our closer's not here, and I…
892
00:41:03,210 --> 00:41:05,212
I really don't know what to do right now.
893
00:41:05,296 --> 00:41:07,173
[emotional music playing]
894
00:41:07,256 --> 00:41:09,383
[crowd cheering]
895
00:41:12,761 --> 00:41:14,805
[music continues]
896
00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:16,932
[crowd cheering and whistling]
897
00:41:27,193 --> 00:41:29,487
[cheering intensifies]
898
00:41:38,996 --> 00:41:41,540
[cheering]
899
00:41:46,045 --> 00:41:48,339
Luckily,
our closer's not for three more acts,
900
00:41:48,422 --> 00:41:51,383
so we're gonna keep going
and hope they show up on time.
901
00:41:52,092 --> 00:41:54,011
Please welcome to the stage
my good friends,
902
00:41:54,094 --> 00:41:56,263
it's Britanick!
903
00:41:56,347 --> 00:41:58,557
-[crowd cheering]
-[rock music playing]
904
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,521
What's up, guys?
My name's Brian McElhaney.
905
00:42:03,604 --> 00:42:06,148
That guy's Nick Kocher.
We're Britanick. How you doing?
906
00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:07,525
[crowd cheering]
907
00:42:07,608 --> 00:42:09,944
-Yes.
-Absolutely. Guys.
908
00:42:10,027 --> 00:42:13,322
Some of you may know us.
We just made our first feature film.
909
00:42:13,405 --> 00:42:15,866
You can watch it on Hulu.
It's called Pizza Movie.
910
00:42:15,950 --> 00:42:17,743
-[crowd cheering]
-Please do. Thank you.
911
00:42:17,826 --> 00:42:20,412
Hey, hey, sorry.
No, uh, cross-platform promotion.
912
00:42:20,496 --> 00:42:22,540
[laughs] Hulu? Hulu gives a shit.
913
00:42:22,623 --> 00:42:23,916
[crowd laughing]
914
00:42:23,999 --> 00:42:26,710
Unless they buy this in a few years.
But, um…
915
00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:28,921
By the way, I noticed in the film
916
00:42:29,004 --> 00:42:31,924
you were missing
a leading-man type character.
917
00:42:32,508 --> 00:42:36,053
-They were all teenagers in the movie.
-Well, I can play teenage on screen.
918
00:42:36,136 --> 00:42:37,429
-Uh…
-[crowd laughing]
919
00:42:37,513 --> 00:42:39,306
Okay, you think I'm old and ugly.
920
00:42:39,390 --> 00:42:40,641
[crowd laughing]
921
00:42:40,724 --> 00:42:43,102
-Great. Thank you.
-Don't do that again. Okay.
922
00:42:43,185 --> 00:42:46,605
Anyhow, we're so excited to get to do
some scripted sketch for you.
923
00:42:46,689 --> 00:42:49,733
It's rare to ever get to do this
on this big of a platform.
924
00:42:49,817 --> 00:42:52,152
-I hope you enjoy it.
-This is The Chandelier Store.
925
00:42:52,236 --> 00:42:53,445
-Here we go.
-Here we go.
926
00:42:56,323 --> 00:42:58,909
-There's supposed to be a sound effect.
-[Jeremy] My bad.
927
00:42:58,993 --> 00:43:00,119
Just like a jingly bell.
928
00:43:00,703 --> 00:43:02,705
-[farting]
-[crowd laughing]
929
00:43:02,788 --> 00:43:04,748
I think you know that's not the right one.
930
00:43:04,832 --> 00:43:06,458
It's a tring-tring. A bell sound.
931
00:43:06,542 --> 00:43:08,669
-[Jeremy] Bell. Got it.
-Okay, you have it?
932
00:43:08,752 --> 00:43:10,462
-[Jeremy] I have a bell.
-Let's do it.
933
00:43:10,963 --> 00:43:12,756
-[gong ringing]
-Jeremy!
934
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:14,508
-We don't have time.
-Not the right bell.
935
00:43:14,592 --> 00:43:16,844
[in English accent]
I'm from London. Big Ben.
936
00:43:16,927 --> 00:43:18,846
-Stop.
-This show is so long.
937
00:43:18,929 --> 00:43:21,432
-Why did that trigger that?
-I'm from London. Big Ben.
938
00:43:21,515 --> 00:43:22,975
-Jack, please.
-Stop. Stop.
939
00:43:23,058 --> 00:43:24,101
[small bell ringing]
940
00:43:24,184 --> 00:43:26,270
-Yeah, that's the bell.
-That's the one.
941
00:43:26,353 --> 00:43:28,188
-Here we go.
-[Brian] Stay outta here.
942
00:43:28,272 --> 00:43:30,899
-[elephant trumpeting]
-Just keep going. Don't worry.
943
00:43:30,983 --> 00:43:32,484
Hello, sir. I'm Lannan Greer.
944
00:43:32,568 --> 00:43:34,403
I'd like to buy a chandelier.
945
00:43:34,486 --> 00:43:36,697
Ah, a chandelier for Lannan Greer.
946
00:43:36,780 --> 00:43:38,407
My mistake. That was unclear.
947
00:43:38,490 --> 00:43:40,492
The chandelier is for my dear.
948
00:43:40,576 --> 00:43:42,494
Her name, of course, is Shannon Lear.
949
00:43:42,578 --> 00:43:44,455
A chandelier from Lannan Greer
950
00:43:44,538 --> 00:43:46,332
to his sweet dear, Miss Shannon Lear.
951
00:43:46,415 --> 00:43:47,958
Hello, my name is Jack Tucker.
952
00:43:48,042 --> 00:43:49,501
[crowd laughing]
953
00:43:49,585 --> 00:43:50,586
What are you doing?
954
00:43:50,669 --> 00:43:52,588
Isn't that clear? My name is Jack Tucker.
955
00:43:52,671 --> 00:43:54,506
Hello, I'd like to be in your movie.
956
00:43:55,215 --> 00:43:57,009
-[Nick] What are you doing?
-Ring ring.
957
00:43:57,092 --> 00:43:59,053
[mimics elephant trumpeting]
958
00:43:59,136 --> 00:44:00,596
-Stop it.
-[trumpet playing]
959
00:44:00,679 --> 00:44:02,431
[Brian] It fucks up the rhythm.
960
00:44:02,514 --> 00:44:03,766
Hayley, is that you?
961
00:44:04,350 --> 00:44:06,435
Get off stage. What are you doing?
962
00:44:06,518 --> 00:44:09,438
[in Scottish accent]
I feel I have broke the fourth wall.
963
00:44:09,521 --> 00:44:11,065
[Brian] Hey, what are you doing?
964
00:44:13,067 --> 00:44:15,527
You've done…
This has happened so many times.
965
00:44:15,611 --> 00:44:17,821
-Alright, fine.
-We're gonna do it again?
966
00:44:17,905 --> 00:44:19,990
-♪ Let's do it again… ♪
-Oh, come on.
967
00:44:20,491 --> 00:44:22,493
-[dance music playing]
-[crowd cheering]
968
00:44:24,119 --> 00:44:25,788
-[music stops]
-Oh, wait. I got it.
969
00:44:25,871 --> 00:44:28,082
-Waldo. Found you both.
-That's not what this is.
970
00:44:28,165 --> 00:44:29,291
[fanfare playing]
971
00:44:29,375 --> 00:44:31,210
-What? What?
-What's this?
972
00:44:31,877 --> 00:44:34,797
No. Don't leave it there.
I see you leaving.
973
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:36,715
-[Brian] Just… It's fine.
-Fine. Go.
974
00:44:37,383 --> 00:44:39,385
-Okay.
-Hello, my name is Lannan Greer.
975
00:44:39,468 --> 00:44:40,511
I'd like to buy a--
976
00:44:40,594 --> 00:44:42,513
{\an8}-Goddammit!
-[cameraman] Help!
977
00:44:42,596 --> 00:44:45,099
{\an8}Dylan! No!
978
00:44:45,182 --> 00:44:47,184
[energetic music playing through laptop]
979
00:44:49,478 --> 00:44:51,230
-[crashing]
-[Nick] Let's do it again.
980
00:44:51,313 --> 00:44:54,775
Hello, my name is Lannan Greer.
I'd like to buy a chandelier.
981
00:44:54,858 --> 00:44:57,778
-A chandelier--
-Did somebody say, "Ice cold beer"?
982
00:44:57,861 --> 00:44:59,947
-[male voice] Y-Y-Yeah!
-[upbeat music playing]
983
00:45:00,030 --> 00:45:01,949
[crowd cheering]
984
00:45:02,032 --> 00:45:04,702
I'm sorry, who the fuck is this person?
985
00:45:05,202 --> 00:45:06,495
I'm Chuggy.
986
00:45:07,413 --> 00:45:09,206
{\an8}[Jack] Chuggy!
987
00:45:09,289 --> 00:45:12,084
-[crowd cheering]
-Stop. Stop.
988
00:45:12,584 --> 00:45:14,002
-[Nick] No.
-[music continues]
989
00:45:14,086 --> 00:45:16,922
You haven't been established at all
in the show.
990
00:45:17,005 --> 00:45:18,924
-[music stops]
-What are you talking about?
991
00:45:19,007 --> 00:45:22,177
I'm Chuggy.
I've been on stage 16 times tonight.
992
00:45:22,261 --> 00:45:23,721
No, you haven't.
993
00:45:23,804 --> 00:45:24,763
What?
994
00:45:24,847 --> 00:45:26,515
Surely you remember this.
995
00:45:26,598 --> 00:45:28,934
-[music resumes]
-It doesn't… It doesn't help.
996
00:45:29,017 --> 00:45:31,270
Chuggy! Chuggy! Chuggy!
997
00:45:31,353 --> 00:45:34,356
-When did you all learn this dance?
-[crowd] Chuggy! Chuggy!
998
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,025
The whole crowd knows it.
Are you telling them they're lying?
999
00:45:37,109 --> 00:45:39,236
The whole crowd? It's like ten people,
1000
00:45:39,319 --> 00:45:41,739
and then 500 bored faces.
1001
00:45:41,822 --> 00:45:43,407
No, they love me.
1002
00:45:43,490 --> 00:45:46,285
I'm your favorite beer's favorite beer!
1003
00:45:46,368 --> 00:45:47,870
[Brian] Uh-huh. Okay, cool.
1004
00:45:47,953 --> 00:45:49,747
-[crowd cheering]
-[music resumes]
1005
00:45:49,830 --> 00:45:51,915
What… What does that mean?
1006
00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:54,668
-[crowd] Chuggy! Chuggy!
-[music stops]
1007
00:45:54,752 --> 00:45:57,921
Let's get the cameras on the crowd.
Let's get the crowd going.
1008
00:45:58,005 --> 00:46:00,048
No. No. Come on.
1009
00:46:00,132 --> 00:46:02,509
-[crowd] Chuggy! Chuggy!
-What's wrong with you?
1010
00:46:04,011 --> 00:46:07,306
I just want to say, all of you,
all of you, would join a cult.
1011
00:46:07,806 --> 00:46:09,057
Upsetting.
1012
00:46:09,141 --> 00:46:10,893
Also, don't they already have a beer guy?
1013
00:46:10,976 --> 00:46:12,394
[rock music playing]
1014
00:46:12,478 --> 00:46:13,854
What… I don't mean do it.
1015
00:46:13,937 --> 00:46:15,397
[crowd cheering]
1016
00:46:23,781 --> 00:46:25,783
[crowd whooping]
1017
00:46:39,213 --> 00:46:40,798
[crowd cheering]
1018
00:46:44,218 --> 00:46:45,260
[mouthing silently]
1019
00:46:46,428 --> 00:46:47,554
[Cory] What the fuck?
1020
00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:49,223
[crowd laughing]
1021
00:46:49,306 --> 00:46:50,307
What the fuck?
1022
00:46:50,808 --> 00:46:53,060
Neil Patrick Harris, you stole my bit!
1023
00:46:54,686 --> 00:46:55,646
[mouthing silently]
1024
00:46:55,729 --> 00:46:57,940
[crowd laughing and clapping]
1025
00:46:58,023 --> 00:46:59,316
[yells] That's it!
1026
00:46:59,399 --> 00:47:00,901
[lively saxophone playing]
1027
00:47:00,984 --> 00:47:03,028
-You get back here!
-[Jack] Get back here!
1028
00:47:03,111 --> 00:47:05,572
You get back here! You get back here!
1029
00:47:06,073 --> 00:47:07,199
What the fuck?
1030
00:47:07,282 --> 00:47:08,492
[music continues]
1031
00:47:08,575 --> 00:47:09,493
[klaxon honking]
1032
00:47:10,702 --> 00:47:12,329
[klaxon honking]
1033
00:47:12,412 --> 00:47:14,122
[music continues]
1034
00:47:16,291 --> 00:47:17,292
[music fades]
1035
00:47:17,376 --> 00:47:20,963
Hello, sir, I'm Lannan Greer.
I'd like to buy a chandelier.
1036
00:47:21,046 --> 00:47:23,090
Ah, a chandelier for Lannan Greer.
1037
00:47:23,173 --> 00:47:27,052
-And Chuggy as well!
-[Brian] Goddammit. Why?
1038
00:47:27,135 --> 00:47:28,720
[crowd laughing]
1039
00:47:28,804 --> 00:47:30,597
And Chuggy's here too.
1040
00:47:31,682 --> 00:47:35,018
Wow. Well, will Chuggy please disappear
1041
00:47:35,102 --> 00:47:36,562
if I give Chuggy a beer?
1042
00:47:37,145 --> 00:47:39,773
-Oh, no, I don't drink.
-[crowd laughing]
1043
00:47:39,857 --> 00:47:42,901
-What do you mean?
-I'm sorry, you don't like beer?
1044
00:47:42,985 --> 00:47:46,363
It makes me less present as a father.
1045
00:47:46,446 --> 00:47:49,199
-[lively saxophone resumes]
-[klaxon honking]
1046
00:47:54,121 --> 00:47:55,330
-Stop it, guys.
-[yells]
1047
00:47:55,414 --> 00:47:57,207
-[farting]
-[Brian] Stop it.
1048
00:47:57,291 --> 00:47:59,001
[music continues]
1049
00:47:59,084 --> 00:48:00,919
-[phone ringing]
-Listen! Hey, hey!
1050
00:48:01,587 --> 00:48:03,380
Hey, stop! Jeremy, stop it!
1051
00:48:03,463 --> 00:48:04,798
-[music stops]
-Fucking stop.
1052
00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:06,008
Please, please,
1053
00:48:06,091 --> 00:48:07,384
let us do our ske--
1054
00:48:07,467 --> 00:48:09,386
[emotional music playing]
1055
00:48:09,469 --> 00:48:11,930
[crowd laughing and cheering]
1056
00:48:16,226 --> 00:48:18,270
[crowd cheering]
1057
00:48:18,353 --> 00:48:20,355
[clapping and whistling]
1058
00:48:22,399 --> 00:48:24,818
[cheering and whistling intensifies]
1059
00:48:27,654 --> 00:48:29,656
[cheering]
1060
00:48:31,867 --> 00:48:33,911
[whooping and clapping]
1061
00:48:40,334 --> 00:48:42,336
[crowd laughing]
1062
00:48:51,511 --> 00:48:53,847
[laughing and clapping]
1063
00:49:00,187 --> 00:49:02,272
[Jack groaning]
1064
00:49:02,356 --> 00:49:04,358
[crowd laughing]
1065
00:49:04,858 --> 00:49:06,568
[music fades]
1066
00:49:06,652 --> 00:49:08,195
[clicks fingers repeatedly]
1067
00:49:08,278 --> 00:49:10,280
[inspirational music playing]
1068
00:49:16,244 --> 00:49:17,746
[Jack] I'm gonna be honest, guys.
1069
00:49:18,664 --> 00:49:20,332
Our closer isn't here yet.
1070
00:49:21,500 --> 00:49:23,543
We need a miracle to save this show.
1071
00:49:23,627 --> 00:49:25,671
[crowd cheering]
1072
00:49:25,754 --> 00:49:27,881
-A hero.
-[klaxon honking]
1073
00:49:27,965 --> 00:49:28,882
Someone
1074
00:49:30,050 --> 00:49:31,093
special.
1075
00:49:31,176 --> 00:49:32,552
[music intensifies]
1076
00:49:32,636 --> 00:49:34,638
[crowd cheering]
1077
00:49:52,072 --> 00:49:54,658
-[music fades]
-One more time for Britanick, everybody!
1078
00:49:54,741 --> 00:49:57,494
-[Brian] We didn't do anything!
-[crowd cheering]
1079
00:49:57,577 --> 00:49:59,579
[Jack] Sorry, we just gotta wrap this up.
1080
00:49:59,663 --> 00:50:04,292
And how about our good friend,
the Clown Boss, it's Chad Damiani!
1081
00:50:04,376 --> 00:50:05,460
[crowd cheering]
1082
00:50:05,544 --> 00:50:07,838
-Anyways, uh…
-[crowd laughing]
1083
00:50:15,137 --> 00:50:17,973
We got one final act tonight,
and we're gonna take this home.
1084
00:50:18,056 --> 00:50:22,060
Are you ready to end this amazing taping
of Stamptown and Netflix?
1085
00:50:22,144 --> 00:50:24,021
-[crowd cheering]
-[klaxon honking]
1086
00:50:24,104 --> 00:50:29,151
Then please welcome to the stage
the incredible Jordan Gray!
1087
00:50:29,234 --> 00:50:31,486
-[rock music playing]
-[crowd cheering]
1088
00:50:35,115 --> 00:50:36,742
Jack Tucker, everybody!
1089
00:50:36,825 --> 00:50:37,993
[crowd cheering]
1090
00:50:38,076 --> 00:50:41,747
My name is Jordan Gray.
I just flew in from the UK.
1091
00:50:41,830 --> 00:50:44,958
I like to think I put the trans
in transatlantic flight.
1092
00:50:45,042 --> 00:50:46,960
I'm a… I'm a transgender woman,
1093
00:50:47,044 --> 00:50:48,920
which means that I used to be…
1094
00:50:49,004 --> 00:50:51,923
miserable, and now
I'm really happy with my life.
1095
00:50:52,007 --> 00:50:54,134
[crowd cheering]
1096
00:50:54,217 --> 00:50:55,927
[klaxon honking]
1097
00:50:56,970 --> 00:50:59,181
I don't know what you're into,
but I promise you,
1098
00:50:59,264 --> 00:51:01,183
between my top half and my bottom half,
1099
00:51:01,266 --> 00:51:03,518
I do have a little something for everyone.
1100
00:51:04,019 --> 00:51:06,938
-[crowd clapping]
-I am incredibly versatile.
1101
00:51:07,522 --> 00:51:10,192
I'm like a sexual Swiss army knife.
1102
00:51:11,151 --> 00:51:13,278
What's that? You don't believe me?
1103
00:51:13,361 --> 00:51:15,072
Jeremy, give me a drumroll, baby.
1104
00:51:15,155 --> 00:51:16,114
[drumroll]
1105
00:51:16,198 --> 00:51:17,991
Keep it going. Drumroll, drumroll.
1106
00:51:18,075 --> 00:51:19,159
Is it in there?
1107
00:51:19,242 --> 00:51:20,577
Yeah, okay, cool.
1108
00:51:20,660 --> 00:51:22,662
[crowd cheering]
1109
00:51:28,418 --> 00:51:30,587
[crowd cheering]
1110
00:51:30,670 --> 00:51:32,672
[rock music playing]
1111
00:51:41,515 --> 00:51:43,850
Now you know my secret.
1112
00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:46,103
[crowd laughing]
1113
00:51:46,186 --> 00:51:47,604
I am ginger.
1114
00:51:47,687 --> 00:51:49,689
[crowd laughing]
1115
00:51:51,024 --> 00:51:53,527
Now, despite all this bravado
that I bring to the stage,
1116
00:51:53,610 --> 00:51:55,487
I'm quite a sensitive little person,
1117
00:51:55,570 --> 00:51:57,656
and it's horrible
being transgender right now.
1118
00:51:57,739 --> 00:51:59,616
I've written a song about those feelings,
1119
00:51:59,699 --> 00:52:02,452
and I'd like to perform that for you,
if that'll be alright?
1120
00:52:02,536 --> 00:52:04,496
-[crowd cheering and clapping]
-Yes!
1121
00:52:07,332 --> 00:52:10,210
{\an8}That leather is a lot colder
than I thought it was gonna be.
1122
00:52:11,294 --> 00:52:12,879
{\an8}[piano flourish]
1123
00:52:12,963 --> 00:52:15,465
{\an8}-Oh my god. Wow. This is amazing.
-[playing melody]
1124
00:52:15,549 --> 00:52:18,093
{\an8}This is… Los Angeles, I love you.
Thank you so much.
1125
00:52:18,593 --> 00:52:20,220
{\an8}-This…
-[crowd cheering]
1126
00:52:20,804 --> 00:52:23,473
This sort of shit
doesn't happen to people like me.
1127
00:52:23,557 --> 00:52:25,183
I'm so fucking happy to be here.
1128
00:52:25,267 --> 00:52:27,352
Stamptown is the greatest show
in the world.
1129
00:52:27,853 --> 00:52:29,896
-Thank you.
-[crowd cheering]
1130
00:52:33,150 --> 00:52:35,152
[breathes heavily]
1131
00:52:36,069 --> 00:52:40,198
♪ I look out at the faces in this room ♪
1132
00:52:41,449 --> 00:52:45,287
♪ And wish that I could crawl back
in the womb ♪
1133
00:52:46,621 --> 00:52:49,791
♪ And start again, against God's plans ♪
1134
00:52:49,875 --> 00:52:54,045
♪ With different glands
And smaller hands ♪
1135
00:52:54,129 --> 00:52:57,883
♪ I wish the world
could finally understand ♪
1136
00:52:58,675 --> 00:53:03,805
♪ I'm more than
just a female Russell Brand ♪
1137
00:53:07,017 --> 00:53:10,729
♪ No wonder why I feel so incomplete ♪
1138
00:53:11,605 --> 00:53:15,317
♪ I stand alone on massive fucking feet ♪
1139
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:16,651
[crowd laughing]
1140
00:53:16,735 --> 00:53:19,821
♪ How come I can't use the women's loos ♪
1141
00:53:19,905 --> 00:53:23,617
♪ But Katy Perry gets to go to space? ♪
1142
00:53:23,700 --> 00:53:25,577
[crowd laughing]
1143
00:53:27,621 --> 00:53:30,707
♪ Yet if I was Russian and a hooker ♪
1144
00:53:30,790 --> 00:53:34,628
♪ I could piss in Trump's actual face ♪
1145
00:53:34,711 --> 00:53:36,713
[crowd cheering]
1146
00:53:38,256 --> 00:53:40,175
Yeah, that's right, I went there.
1147
00:53:41,134 --> 00:53:43,303
Oh no, what's he gonna do?
Grab me by the pussy?
1148
00:53:43,386 --> 00:53:45,055
I would like to see that man try.
1149
00:53:45,138 --> 00:53:46,932
[crowd cheering]
1150
00:53:47,015 --> 00:53:50,518
[laughs] It would actually be
incredibly validating.
1151
00:53:53,230 --> 00:53:57,525
♪ And as I gaze out
At the pity in your eyes ♪
1152
00:53:58,276 --> 00:54:02,072
♪ I guess it's time I finally realize ♪
1153
00:54:02,614 --> 00:54:05,408
♪ That I'm just ♪
1154
00:54:07,327 --> 00:54:08,828
♪ Better than you ♪
1155
00:54:09,454 --> 00:54:11,539
♪ And in a way, I always knew ♪
1156
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:15,043
♪ I'm such a fucking genius, ah! ♪
1157
00:54:15,126 --> 00:54:17,420
♪ You don't have a fucking clue ♪
1158
00:54:18,004 --> 00:54:20,090
♪ 'Cause I'm better than you ♪
1159
00:54:20,590 --> 00:54:23,301
♪ But don't let that upset you, dear
Ah! ♪
1160
00:54:23,385 --> 00:54:25,553
♪ At least you get to watch me play ♪
1161
00:54:26,304 --> 00:54:29,307
♪ You're lucky that I'm even here ♪
1162
00:54:29,391 --> 00:54:31,268
♪ 'Cause I can sing like a motherfucker ♪
1163
00:54:31,351 --> 00:54:32,644
♪ Play like a motherfucker ♪
1164
00:54:32,727 --> 00:54:34,229
♪ Dance like a motherfucker ♪
1165
00:54:34,312 --> 00:54:35,605
♪ Act like a motherfucker ♪
1166
00:54:35,689 --> 00:54:38,108
♪ Fact, I'm a better lover
than any other ♪
1167
00:54:38,191 --> 00:54:41,236
♪ If you came here with your mother
I'll fuck her just like a motherfucker ♪
1168
00:54:42,779 --> 00:54:44,698
[crowd cheering]
1169
00:54:46,157 --> 00:54:49,327
{\an8}♪ I'm an arousing little mystery
In your husband's Google history ♪
1170
00:54:49,411 --> 00:54:51,121
{\an8}♪ Go and check the results ♪
1171
00:54:51,204 --> 00:54:53,748
{\an8}♪ I'm a perfect woman
My tits will never shrink ♪
1172
00:54:53,832 --> 00:54:55,333
{\an8}♪ And I'm guaranteed to squirt ♪
1173
00:54:55,417 --> 00:54:57,711
{\an8}♪ And I do anal by default ♪
1174
00:54:57,794 --> 00:54:59,421
{\an8}[crowd cheering]
1175
00:55:00,672 --> 00:55:02,590
♪ I am the Lizard King ♪
1176
00:55:02,674 --> 00:55:04,342
♪ I can do anything ♪
1177
00:55:04,884 --> 00:55:10,807
♪ That any other woman can ♪
1178
00:55:12,309 --> 00:55:14,311
But then, what do you expect?
1179
00:55:14,894 --> 00:55:17,772
♪ I used to be a man ♪
1180
00:55:17,856 --> 00:55:18,773
Sexist? Oh, no.
1181
00:55:18,857 --> 00:55:20,525
♪ I'm better than you ♪
1182
00:55:21,109 --> 00:55:23,278
♪ And in a way, I always knew ♪
1183
00:55:23,778 --> 00:55:26,448
♪ I'm such a fucking genius, ah! ♪
1184
00:55:26,531 --> 00:55:29,159
♪ You don't have a fucking clue ♪
1185
00:55:29,993 --> 00:55:32,620
♪ 'Cause I'm better than all of you ♪
1186
00:55:33,204 --> 00:55:35,457
[crowd cheering and clapping]
1187
00:55:38,585 --> 00:55:41,796
♪ 'Cause I'm better than all of you ♪
1188
00:55:42,464 --> 00:55:45,383
♪ But only 'cause you told me so ♪
1189
00:55:46,134 --> 00:55:48,762
♪ The day that I came out as trans ♪
1190
00:55:49,596 --> 00:55:52,557
♪ It feels like a long time ago ♪
1191
00:55:53,308 --> 00:55:57,312
♪ I put on lipstick
and some earrings and a dress ♪
1192
00:55:57,395 --> 00:56:00,648
♪ You said I was incredible ♪
1193
00:56:01,441 --> 00:56:04,486
♪ You put me on this pedestal ♪
1194
00:56:05,236 --> 00:56:09,366
♪ You told me I was beautiful ♪
1195
00:56:09,449 --> 00:56:11,034
Oh!
1196
00:56:16,164 --> 00:56:21,920
♪ You bunch of fucking liberals ♪
1197
00:56:22,003 --> 00:56:24,005
[crowd cheering and clapping]
1198
00:56:24,923 --> 00:56:27,467
♪ This is you! It's your fault! ♪
1199
00:56:27,550 --> 00:56:30,220
♪ You convinced me that I was amazing ♪
1200
00:56:30,303 --> 00:56:32,889
♪ "You're so beautiful, Jordan.
You're fantastic." ♪
1201
00:56:32,972 --> 00:56:35,475
♪ "You're so pretty. You're so brave." ♪
1202
00:56:35,558 --> 00:56:38,103
♪ "You're so brave. You're so brave." ♪
1203
00:56:38,186 --> 00:56:42,023
♪ "You're so brave. You're so brave." ♪
1204
00:56:42,524 --> 00:56:45,110
♪ I didn't even change my fucking name ♪
1205
00:56:45,193 --> 00:56:47,695
♪ I just came up here
I said, "I'm trans!" ♪
1206
00:56:47,779 --> 00:56:50,323
♪ Woke up in the morning
with a billion fans ♪
1207
00:56:50,407 --> 00:56:52,867
♪ And you love me, I'm amazing! ♪
1208
00:56:52,951 --> 00:56:55,370
♪ You love me
Don't pretend that you don't ♪
1209
00:56:55,453 --> 00:56:57,914
♪ 'Cause you love me, I'm amazing! ♪
1210
00:56:57,997 --> 00:57:00,250
♪ You're so ugly, I'm amazing! ♪
1211
00:57:00,333 --> 00:57:01,918
♪ You're so ugly ♪
1212
00:57:02,001 --> 00:57:05,880
♪ And I know in your hearts
that you love me ♪
1213
00:57:06,381 --> 00:57:08,466
[crowd cheering]
1214
00:57:08,550 --> 00:57:10,927
This is the best night of my fucking life!
1215
00:57:11,010 --> 00:57:13,012
[music continues]
1216
00:57:15,390 --> 00:57:17,392
[crowd cheering]
1217
00:57:19,644 --> 00:57:21,020
[screams]
1218
00:57:24,399 --> 00:57:26,276
My god, I'm so fucking talented!
1219
00:57:31,531 --> 00:57:33,408
[crowd cheering]
1220
00:57:33,491 --> 00:57:35,493
[Jordan breathes deeply]
1221
00:57:36,161 --> 00:57:38,163
-Oh my…
-[Jack] Love you.
1222
00:57:38,663 --> 00:57:40,665
[melody continues softly]
1223
00:57:42,542 --> 00:57:44,461
♪ Prince said times are changing ♪
1224
00:57:44,544 --> 00:57:47,881
♪ So it's time
We reach for something new ♪
1225
00:57:50,133 --> 00:57:53,344
♪ And David Bowie said
That we could all be heroes ♪
1226
00:57:53,428 --> 00:57:55,638
♪ If we want to ♪
1227
00:57:58,349 --> 00:58:00,810
♪ Now some of you think I'm disgusting ♪
1228
00:58:00,894 --> 00:58:04,439
♪ Like a soup with a skin on it ♪
1229
00:58:04,522 --> 00:58:06,524
[crowd laughing]
1230
00:58:10,195 --> 00:58:12,447
♪ But if I'm gonna be a joke ♪
1231
00:58:12,530 --> 00:58:16,117
♪ Then I might as well be in on it ♪
1232
00:58:17,827 --> 00:58:19,204
[crowd cheering]
1233
00:58:19,287 --> 00:58:21,498
♪ If I'm gonna be a joke ♪
1234
00:58:21,581 --> 00:58:25,418
♪ Then I might as well be in on it ♪
1235
00:58:25,502 --> 00:58:28,046
Thank you so much Los Angeles! I love you!
1236
00:58:28,129 --> 00:58:29,547
Thank you so much!
1237
00:58:29,631 --> 00:58:32,509
-[crowd cheering]
-God bless America, baby!
1238
00:58:33,718 --> 00:58:37,305
And look after each other,
'cause it's fucking scary out there!
1239
00:58:37,805 --> 00:58:39,933
[crowd cheering]
1240
00:58:46,731 --> 00:58:48,733
[crowd cheering]
1241
00:58:53,696 --> 00:58:55,198
[cheering]
1242
00:58:55,281 --> 00:58:57,158
Jordan Gray, everybody!
1243
00:58:57,242 --> 00:58:58,952
[funk music playing]
1244
00:58:59,035 --> 00:59:00,870
[crowd cheering]
1245
00:59:00,954 --> 00:59:03,331
[Jack] Keep it going
for the original house band,
1246
00:59:03,414 --> 00:59:06,334
our good friends, it's Thumpasaurus!
1247
00:59:06,417 --> 00:59:07,585
[crowd cheering]
1248
00:59:07,669 --> 00:59:09,921
One more time for this amazing cast!
1249
00:59:10,421 --> 00:59:12,340
This is a dream come true!
1250
00:59:12,423 --> 00:59:15,176
Long live Philippe Gaulier! Never give up!
1251
00:59:15,260 --> 00:59:17,595
Suck on this! We're never gonna die!
1252
00:59:18,346 --> 00:59:21,015
{\an8}♪ It doesn't matter ♪
1253
00:59:21,099 --> 00:59:22,433
{\an8}♪ Matter what you say ♪
1254
00:59:22,517 --> 00:59:25,812
{\an8}♪ I just want to be flattered ♪
1255
00:59:27,313 --> 00:59:30,275
{\an8}♪ It doesn't matter ♪
1256
00:59:30,358 --> 00:59:31,859
{\an8}♪ Matter what you say ♪
1257
00:59:31,943 --> 00:59:34,946
{\an8}♪ I just want to be flattered ♪
1258
00:59:36,739 --> 00:59:38,866
{\an8}♪ It doesn't matter… ♪
1259
00:59:38,950 --> 00:59:41,077
{\an8}[Jack] Can you believe
they let us do this?
1260
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:43,830
{\an8}♪ I just want to be flattered… ♪
1261
00:59:43,913 --> 00:59:45,748
{\an8}Hey, hey, hey!
1262
00:59:45,832 --> 00:59:48,710
{\an8}♪ It doesn't matter ♪
1263
00:59:48,793 --> 00:59:50,128
{\an8}♪ Matter what you say ♪
1264
00:59:50,211 --> 00:59:53,423
{\an8}♪ I just want to be flattered ♪
1265
00:59:55,049 --> 00:59:57,427
♪ It doesn't matter ♪
1266
00:59:57,510 --> 00:59:59,804
-[music ends]
-[crowd cheering and whistling]